Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Control Those Urges, Kiddies...



So apparently a good indicator of becoming a successful adult is learning to delay gratification while you're still a child. According to the article children who can forego scarfing down sugary treats for a little while with the promise of getting more sugary treats later get higher SAT scores and are usually more financially well off as adults.

Hmmmm... that's very interesting... I should learn how to delay my gratification. I just have one question. How long will I have to wait before I cash out?

Yeah, I want to know how long I have to be a good-doobie before I can really live it up? What are we talking here? Two years? Five years?

Yeah, how long do I have to work a nine-to-five before I'm blowing lines off supermodels' thighs on a yacht off the coast of Nice?

Forever?! What's the point of controlling your urges then? Fuck it.... I'm calling out of work and I'm going to buy an eighth, and a case of Natural Ice, so I can get fucked up, watch Kung Fu movies, and shoot my potato gun at the 'Slow, Children At Play' sign across the street. Fuck this delaying gratification bullshit. That's not going to make ME happy.