Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Listen Up!

"I'm in emotional pain", he said. "My dreams continue to go unrealized!"

He continued, "I hold on to the childish belief that if I complain, whine, and pray that some higher power will give me everything that I want.

What do I want? I long for the love and admiration of people in better social standing than I so I can join their ranks. I never admit this to others or even to myself most days. Instead, I will say, 'I want fulfillment'. I will say 'I just want to be happy'.

Sadly, currently I do not have the ability or the fortunate circumstances to acquire this love and admiration I desire so badly. So I guess in the meantime I will settle for the company of lower but more available members of society, like this loser here with the big ears. He looks like a good listener. Yes, I will complain to him continuously that the world is making it impossible for me to realize my childhood dreams! I will feign interest when he recounts his struggles, nodding along with his remarks, smiling when he makes jokes, recalling details of his anecdotes to prove that I am attentively listening and sympathizing. But I am not! I'm too busy thinking about my own imaginary struggles and pain and I'm forever scheming ways to climb to the top of the pile.

Hey, I heard up there life is way better! You never have to worry… ABOUT ANYTHING! AND you can travel… ANYWHERE! AND the liquor actually tastes good and it doesn't give you hangovers! AND the girls' pussies taste like ambrosia, the fuckin' food of the god's man! Jesus Christ, why the fuck am I still here?!

Hmmmph rghhgh umm humph… yes. I will make him feel like we have a special bond and a mutual understanding that will last our lifetimes, but once I find people more useful in my climbing the social ladder I will drop him. The goodnatured dumbass won't even see it coming!

Why am I being so candid with you? Because you do not threaten me. You are not useful to me. You are a stranger. You are not a chess piece in my game"


Kenny P. said...

You're the most horrible guy on earth. Wait, no. You're the least horrible guy on earth. One of those...

Adam Tavares said...

I'm every self-absorbed asshole I've ever met... myself included... sometimes... when I don't catch myself.

That jerk is in everybody it's just that some people wrap him in sheep's clothing.